When I was a kid, I wanted to be psychic. Then someone told me superpowers weren't real, and so I grumbled about it and settled for being Sherlock Holmes. Then someone told me Sherlock Holmes wasn't real, and so I grumbled about it and settled for being good at psychoanalysis. Then someone told me psychoanalysis wasn't even an accredited science and the closest thing was therapy and psychology, neither of which were interested in people's minds as beautiful and worth exploring, and so I grumbled about it and decided not to settle and try and become Sherlock Holmes anyway.

I'd love to practice psychoanalysis with someone! I ask you questions, you ask me questions, I try to figure you out, you try to figure me out, that sort of thing. You'll have the pleasure of teasing apart my flaws and hopes and failings, which make so much sense in the context of the person I am, and I'll have the pleasure of figuring you out in the same way!

Fair warning, this will require us to be very, um, real - if you're not comfortable being vulnerable in front of someone you barely know (which is probably 90% of humanity, sadly), this may not be for you. But I don't know; I honestly think people are the most beautiful and profound pieces of art in existence - no book or painting can ever be so perfectly complex and rich as a man or a woman - and it's a real shame that personality isn't yet an acknowledged artistic medium.