"Real Talk" from My Cat
Cats are notorious assholes. Its one of the things they are most known for. Search the internet for "cats knocking over shit" and you will be able to waste away an afternoon on Youtube.
My cat is not an asshole - but she will lay down some legit real talk like no one's business. Not because she hates people, but more because she genuinely cares. And she knows sometimes people need a dose of real talk to get their life in check.
As we all know, cats lack thumbs and the dexterity needed to type. Many times she has tried to walk across my computer keyboard, yet she has been unable to communicate in this method. So, I will act as her conduit - ask her something you want a to-the-point answer and I will relay her message
Training & Qualifications
She personally feels that being a cat is all the qualification she needs for this. I can't disagree.