FRIENDZONED
I will be a friend. I will tell bad jokes and fart a lot (then pretend to be embarrassed). I will come to your work and tell you that Sheila is not as pretty or funny as you and how DARE Rick date her after dumping you. I will buy you a Dilly Bar and tell you the story about how I once sneezed out of my eyeball.
I will cry, once. I will watch ONE SINGLE CHICK FLICK, but only once. I will listen to your secret about the time you made out with a homeless man for $13, and I will NOT judge you.
I will be your friend. I will only accept friendship as trade, not services or Simbi.
Training & Qualifications
Don't be a douche, gossip, or judgemental psycho.
I will not accept Simbi or services for this service. Only friendship in fair trade.
This is for ONE HOUR of "find out friendship." This is where we hang out and decide if I'm too weird for you.
Availability & Preferences
Evenings and weekends