Write you a poem to your specifications. Yours to do with as you will, so long as you don't resell it - I retain reprint rights.
Haiku: 15 simbi
Limerick: 20 simbi
Sonnet: 65 simbi
Other forms: Negotiable
I'll also trade for services if you do something I like/need, or - my favorite - for art supplies or other stranger things via mail. Feel free to suggest a trade method I haven't thought of, too.
I do NSFW poetry on request, but generally prefer stuff I could show my mother without embarrassment. As such, I charge a negotiable extra for NSFW materials.
Training & Qualifications
Published author: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/wetdryvac and in the occasional collection: https://www.amazon.com/Knocking-Door-Poems-about-Approaching/dp/193590499X/
Poet since I was a wee thing in 1978. First published poem, 1992.
Availability & Preferences
I'm a consultant and I fall over with migraines sometimes, but I'm usually available on a week's notice. If not, I'll let you know.
Reviews of Wetdryvac
Melissa provided Unit of 1 Extra Long, Bulky, Cuddly Scarf for Wetdryvac
Mike received Help with Watch a 10 minute film from Wetdryvac
Josh sold Flecked Brown Slouchy Hat to Wetdryvac
Amber sold All Natural Handmade Lotion Bars to Wetdryvac
KJ received Help with Advice: Car is leaking fluid from Wetdryvac
Simbi received Help with Advice: Car is leaking fluid from Wetdryvac
Jonathon provided Unit of Merch Pack! for Wetdryvac
Jonathon received Help with Writing Discipline Coach from Wetdryvac
Midge received Help with I need speed sketch practice from Wetdryvac
About Wetdryvac WDV
I'm willing to negotiate on ALL trades - bringing down the simbi cost in trade for physical goods or your services if they interest me. I'll even work food if you feel like grabbing me 100lbs of rice ...or some other such silliness. I prefer to work for physical goods - if you trade me anything from art supplies to dry goods, it will seriously make my day. The Vac of Wetdryvac.net, artist, author, contract/consent ethicist, and creator of oddments. I'm using Simbi primarily in digital context right now, and have worked more large projects here than I expected to. Seriously enjoying both the work and the people. Feel free to contact me for illustration, web development - Drupal and Wordpress, mostly - and for art projects with unusual requirements. For that matter, if you think what I have on offer here implies the possibility of another skill you'd like to take advantage of, please feel free to ask, "Hey, can you do this thing?" If you'd like a physical print of something you've had me create for you, while I can't print it for you myself and send it, I'm happy to upload your piece to RedBubble, Artflakes, or Zazzle, where you can get it as a print or on other things as well. This is sometimes a bit more expensive than taking the digital file to your local print company, but has the advantage of convenience. Regarding UV resistance of prints, when I asked RedBubble, their customer service says this about their metal prints and framed prints: "Metal Prints have high UV resistance similar to many other professional display products. Even though any prints in direct sunlight will fade over time, the production partners say they have metal prints as outside signage in direct sunlight that have only faded slightly in 3 years. The Perspex has the same resistance as framing glass and is actually optically clearer." I do not have similar information for Zazzle or Artflakes, so for the moment RedBubble will be my default print provider. Please remember that unless explicitly stated otherwise, all my art arrives as a 600DPI digital final, with your choice of JPEG, PSD, or TIFF. Feel free to ask about other other options, and if you think you might want the original physical art, I need to know before I start - and the answer for, "Will you provide the physical original?" Is usually no. You can find my basic portfolio on Behance below, and I can provide additional links to existing work on request, but - as this has come up - I do not create new work without an accepted proposal in place, or a contract by other means. This ensures I avoid working without trade. The exception to this is if I'm approaching you - usually as the result of a request - and that usually entails, "Here's the information I have on the thing you requested. If it solves your problem or is what you were looking for, let me know what you think it was worth and I'll write a proposal for that amount." That way I can permit people to opt in on what I think is useful, but only if they feel like it.show moreOpen to other proposals
Wetdryvac WDV is looking for:
- Cheap & Easy
- Fun & Quirky
- Handyman services
- Tailoring & Sewing
- Music & Audio
- Art & Design