I will write a 2-20 paragraph long funny story of how you will die. The length depends on how much I manage to drag the story on, like some pointless tangent.

Every story is written personally for each individual*. If you give me a few random facts about you, I can more so personalize the story for you, rather than just make it completely random.

*If you do not give me personal details about you or anything at all to work with to personalize your story, there is the chance that I will just take your name and input it into another one of the stories I have written in the past for other users. If you are not comfortable with getting a previously written story and prefer a custom one, then please do provide me with personal details.

*WARNING*
If you are easily offended and do not like dark humor, my stories are not for you. I do not always write dark stories, but sometimes they just have to be that way.

If you have a list of "triggers", they are especially not for you.

*NOTE*
Price is being raised occasionally due to increase in demand.

Sorry, kids, that is economics.

But , I highly recommend that you offer me more solely because I put so much effort into every story. Even if your story sucks, I still did spend a while on it!

Also, I have a limit of five stories per month. I know, it is silly, but I am in college now and I do not have an insane amount of time to write these right now. If the quota has been met, just come back next month for a story.