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OOM Bestiary


6 per unit - Virtual OK - Posted Feb 22, 2023

I will draw a beast, OOMlich as described on my profile in the OOMlich hex:

Surreal, Grotesque, Unpolished, Sexual, Symbolic, Textured.

I will then publish the beast in the Public Domain, dedicated to you, including your name or alias as the patron if so desired, and send it to you.

These beasts fall primarily within the Surreal, Grotesque, and Textured arms of the OOMlich hex, and you may request a beast which is more heavy or light in one or two of these three. For example: "I'd like a beast heavy on the Grotesque," or, "I'd like a beast heavy on the Surreal, and light on the Textured, please."

Here's Pinterest boards for these three arms of the OOMlich hex:

As a default drawings will be done with black ballpoint pen on white printer paper.

Training & Qualifications

I am thoroughly and unapologetically fascinated by all things OOMlich.

I've posted about a Daily OOM each workday for over 270 OOMs, written over 145 Daily Written OOMs, published 14 OOMlich games on, published an OOMlich novella and children's haunted house book, have two OOMlich short stories in the Fantastic Schools magical school anthologies, and have completed various other OOMlich endeavours.

Availability & Preferences

Sundays through Fridays, 6:00 am - 7:00 pm, but away from the computer for hard to predict periods throughout these times. :)

Trading Preference: I’m flexible, just hit me up!

Reviews of Patrick

Kimberly provided package of Simbi Service-Request Matching for Patrick
Jan 01, 2023
It was very nice working with Patrick.
Samuel received Help with Gift from Patrick
Nov 02, 2022
Patrick is a really cool guy. I'm really enjoying my conversations with him about our writing and novels that we are both interested in.
Tristan received Help with What scares you the most poll. from Patrick
Oct 04, 2018
Thanks Patrick, your nightmares are very helpful with my research.
Bannister received unit of A Font for Your Script from Patrick
Mar 08, 2018
This is awesome, Above and Beyond, I am so happy with these results. The professionalism and empathy shared in the project really put me at ease and I... was so impressed. Thanks Buddy, you made my day, week and more
Cheryle received unit of A Recording of Your Poem from Patrick
Feb 10, 2018
Patrick , perfection. Thank you so much. Wow!
Bannister received unit of A Script for Your Language from Patrick
Dec 20, 2017
Very impressive, Patrick has managed to capture the concepts I gave him in a way that really brought it together. I look forward to working with him f...urthershow more
Inactive User
Inactive User received unit of A Script for Your Language from Patrick
May 29, 2017
He was extremely prompt and listened to my critiques. I ended up with a lovely looking script. Would absolutely work with again!
Feb 20, 2017
Patrick went above and beyond for me, writing me a list of names for my books.
Inactive User
Inactive User received Help with Haiku Time from Patrick
Feb 09, 2017
Patrick gave me a detailed and creative write up regarding my request.
Jan 23, 2017
Patrick was friendly and fast. Even though I couldn't get on for a few days he provided what he said he would.


Join the TribeStart with 50 after offering a service.

Patrick's other services

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Simbi seems an awesome way to skip oppression's red tape and get right into actually helping people.

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Patrick's requests

Patrick is requesting
Help me Learn Hunanese!
I have been trying unsuccessfully to find out anything about the language Fushangria (aka. Hunanese, Xiang, Hsiang, 湘語). I would be willing to give all my simbi (297 at the moment) if someone would...

Simbi seems an awesome way to skip oppression's red tape and get right into actually helping people.
Patrick is requesting
Specific Kind of Calculator Program
So! I make languages, and I would like to be able to incorporate numerology / numerological connections in languages that I create. Thus what I would need is a calculator program, where I can pu...

Simbi seems an awesome way to skip oppression's red tape and get right into actually helping people.

About Patrick Lauser

I am a lover of Yahweh, and of all who love Yahweh, a purveyor of the strange things of our Maker. Your neighbour taking out their garbage on a different day than normal would be strange, which is ...obviously not what I'm talking about, so to specify I call the strange things I purvey using the term "OOM" (Of Our Maker). For a thing to be that kind of strange, to be an OOM, that thing must fall heavily enough in one or more arms of the OOMlich Hex, which are: Surreal Grotesque Sexual Symbolic Unpolished Textured The Surreal The closest thing to "OOMlich" in a more familiar word. Where fiction can express what history cannot, and fantasy can express what mere fiction cannot, the Surreal can express what mere fantasy cannot. The Grotesque The gruesome, horrifying, disturbing, ugly, these are right aims of an artist, as well as the beautiful and comforting. The Sexual Few things are as naturally, celestially, and deeply strange as sexual intercourse, and the intimacies which radiate from that perfect centre. The Symbolic The mystery of curious symbols, why people try to interpret dreams, why other languages are used in fictional magic, why languages and scripts in general are OOMlich in concept and aesthetic. The Unpolished Why a child's drawing, or movies from the late 1900s, are often OOMlich, and also one reason this rather ungainly hex is itself OOMlich. The cheesy, edgy, grunge, rough-cut, the attraction of things even oneself dislikes. The Textured Refers to an aspect in the other aspects: how repeating patterns are part of the surreal, how trypophobia stimuli are part of the grotesque, how multiplication (especially among prolific animals) into a teeming swarm is part of the sexual, how symbols in scripts form textures, and how the coarse and grainy is part of the unpolished. Let me know if you share my interests! I was curious and did some figuring, and I found out that if you take a series of 12 circles with an increasing number of points at equal intervals on their circumferences, the number of single-line, self-crossing star polygons (like the pentagram) that you can make on the twelve circles is also 12: 4 can make 1 star, 2 can make 2 stars, 1 can make 4 stars, and the smallest number of points that can make a star is 5 (the pentagram), and 5 of the circles cannot make a star. !show more

Open to other proposals
Patrick Lauser is looking for:
  • Just for Fun
  • Fun & Quirky
  • Digital Marketing
  • Website Consulting
  • Web/Software Development
  • Digital
  • Language Lessons
  • Writing & Editing
  • Marketing
  • Accounting & Bookkeeping
  • Event Planning
  • Friendship/Listening
  • Dance
  • Photography
  • Music & Audio
  • Custom Art
  • Art & Design