Remove your Splinter
Using tweezers and hydrogen peroxide, I will carefully remove your splinter as gently as possible. I am actually very good at this!
Possible distractions include joke-telling and anecdotes on a theme chosen by you.
A colorful band-aid with bacitracin may also be applied.
Training & Qualifications
I have years of splinter removal experience...Growing up with four younger brothers, I often took care of small cuts & scrapes. I also used to be a lifeguard, and have an (expired) Community First Aid & CPR certificate.