I will make your insane project
Do you want me to do any of the following
-Code and design some really vague site that just flows with your general vibe?
-Learn an entirely new set of skills to make your thing in only a couple days? Then when I tell you no, you start crying?
-Not call you an idiot and keep your money if you change the entire project when I'm done with it?
-Set up your entire server remotely because you just can't be bothered?
-Code a vague application that does something but you're sure it will make us both rich?
-Make a bot that will like your post and follow your social media so you can fuel your narcissism?
-Do something I charge for, that would take me days or weeks to do, for free right now?
- Stop the project you hired me for at every step and explain it to you, then have me reexplain it to you because you weren't listening?
-Deal with your children who also want to make a vague request of some AAA quality title that they want made and expect me to be able to do it alongside your current project for no additional money?
-Make your child "I don't know something that prevents bullying, like an app or something that he can use to prevent being bullied"?
-Allow you to use my resources for free?
-Act as your therapist when you've hired me to do something and decide to get sad drunk at midnight and scream at me?
-Low ball me because the project that took me an hour to do isn't worth any money, and neither are my years of experience and education and training that allowed me to do it in such a short time?
-Build and buy your kid a computer
Yes these are all actually things that I have encountered, and things people have asked me to do. If you want me to do any of these things I ask for the $2,000 upfront and that you don't be shocked if I run with your money
Training & Qualifications
9 years programming
Multiple degrees and certificates