Thoughts & Prayers™
5
Ever felt helpless when facing an unconceivable difficulty?
Watched Televangelists on TV but do not have the money to pay them for miracles?
Fret no more.
My Thoughts and Prayers™ are just as useful as Long Distance Reiki and Televangelist services; but with a different name.
The Grand Old Party of the United States thinks that it works in lieu of gun control. Many people have found it very effective when they don't want to do anything. Many churches send this during a disaster instead of actual aid.
Need further testimonials?
The President of the United States himself is an advocate of sending Thoughts & Prayers™ during times of International Crises. Prominent members of his administration are also great fans of this service.
Sure you can always send your own Thoughts and Prayers but if you are unable to do so, let me send Thoughts & Prayers™ on your behalf.
This is a great service for those who are unable due to sloth, apathy or lack of access to mental faculties.
Sure, the skeptics amongst you might think that my thoughts and prayers don't count for much but for 5 simbi a unit, what's there to lose? Shoot me a note and let my Thoughts&Prayers™ soothe your worries away.
Training & Qualifications
I can do the Care Bear Stare. I learnt to do it ever since I saw the Care Bear cartoon on TV when I was just 12 years old. From there, that evolved into the more adult form of the Care Bear Stare - Thoughts & Prayers. There's really not much to it at all. Sometimes people refer to it as lip service.
Availability & Preferences
24 hours a day. This is a service I can perform in my sleep.