Is there something you've been avoiding? Someone you need to say something difficult to?
Confrontation is difficult and scary, so...I will do it for you. Examples of times you may need a confrontation specialist:
- That guy in the office who turns his music on full-blast: I will tell him to turn it down.
- That one friend who is determined to give you unwanted dating advice: I will tell her - politely - that she needs to just stop.
- Comcast, the dark lord of cable, needs yelling at *again* for that bogus bill: I will get on the phone with customer service and I will not put that phone down until I have won.
Q: Will you break up with my girlfriend for me?
A: That is definitely going to cost you some extra Simbi...but yes.
Q: What if my co-workers are weirded out?
A: I find that if I present myself as "John's Confrontation Specialist," everyone either accepts it and goes about their day, or...finds it more hilarious than weird.
Q: Are you out of your mind?
Q: Will you get into a physical fight on my behalf?
A: No, I will not. I will specifically inquire as to whether the person I'm pissing off on your behalf is at all pugilistic and likely to take a swing at a 5'3" woman, and flee immediately in a comical and unabashed manner should this occur.
Training & Qualifications
I am shameless beyond measure, and have been handling confrontations for my friends due to dares, promises of recompense, or in the pursuit of valuable "I Told You So" currency for years. In my professional life, I have worked in customer service, and have thus lost any fear whatsoever of the condemnation of strangers.
References as to my willingness and ability to say or do absolutely anything can be provided upon request.