Do spiders set your heart aflutter...in a bad way? Do you freeze up, tremble, or shriek in the presence of these eight-legged arachnids while scenes from Arachnophobia play on infinite loop in your brain's visual cortex? If so, I'm your guy: I will remove any number of spiders of any size from your home, apartment, or anywhere else you frequent that they do not belong.

This includes sheds and other outdoor constructs, but it is important to note that I will only relocate the spider to an area outdoors, NOT kill or injure it unless by accident. While spiders seem to arouse our deeply ingrained fight-or-flight instincts in an unpleasant way, they are simply too important for the environment in terms of pest control to be killed without reason.

If requested, I can bring vials for capture and literature for amateur identification of the spider. This is useful if you are concerned about venomous spiders or simply curious. I can also remove insects and other creepy crawlies, but I cannot guarantee accurate identification or capture as I am most experienced in the neutralization of spiders.

Locals only, please, unless you're just sending a picture for me to ID. Easy access to transportation is also a plus.