Hey, I'm Sam!
Alicante VC | Member since June 2021
About Sam Hopkins
<h1>Getting Into A Relationship</a></h1>
<blockquote>Hi . I'd like some advice from you, I'm using the comment form on here so as to remain anonymous. I'm a regular reader of <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com">your blog</a> and earlier this summer I was able to pick up my first 9.5 (first anything close to that) during the day at the beach. She resisted my physical advances, I persisted unphased, she resisted, I persisted unphased.
The whole I'm not that kind of girl routine. After enough of me not being phased by her resistance, we had sex the second time we saw eachother. I assumed that the resistance would stop after we had sex for the first time, but I found that she would try to reject me in one way or another every time we got together. She even tried to reject the offer for a relationship that I HADN't even given her.
I remained cool as a cucumber and we stayed together. But the rejections kept coming- she's not doing this tonight, not doing that tonight, doesn't give head, etc. Now at this point you're wondering why am I with this girl at all, since I've only told the bad parts.
Personality wise she is amazing. I am incredibly attracted to her in way more than just a physical way, and in spite of all the rejection, she treated me well- cooking for me, etc. Sadly the rejections kept coming. For a second time she said we had to talk and that we shouldnt see eachother anymore because she doesnt want a relationship. I still had not even offered a relationship.
I remained calm and unaffected. We kept seeing eachother. She still kept pulling farther and farther away though, not answering her phone sometimes, never calling me,.. seeming very uninterested in terms of showing no initiative. I responded by trying to seem less interested as well, pulling back.
I would make sure to end interactions first, and to have very quick, unemotional goodbyes. She seemed sad/got dramatic when I did this. Instead of getting more affectionate, she seemed sad, and would say I was acting weird. I told her recently I don't want to see her anymore. Even though really, I do, I just don't want to feel like I'm chasing her, I want her to chase me or for it to at least be mutual.</blockquote>
<blockquote>Ok that was probably longer than it needed to be, but long story short- she was totally passive towards me in almost never initiating physical affection, almost never calling me, waiting for me to call her instead etc. But also, she would seem sad when I left, not want me to go, get poutty when I'd end a phone conversation etc.</blockquote>
<blockquote>She gave me lots of resistance, and I was often able to push past that resistance by staying unphased by it, but in a way it seems like by persisting I was just rewarding her for being resistant and encouraging her to be more and more resistant in the future, which is what happened. By the time I told her I didnt feel like seeing her anymore I felt like I was losing her, it was a desperate last attempt at what I felt like was the only move I had left- showing disinterest.</blockquote>
<blockquote>Bare in mind- the whole time I was with her I was approaching other girls. Like every other day. And I got rejected by all of them. Except one really hot one that I gave my number to who has never called me. And yes, she is in every other way an absolute knockout, top quality woman and person, and I am very critical of people.</blockquote>
<blockquote>What should I do/have done?</blockquote>
<blockquote><strong>You're caught up in the game playing. When it comes to pursuing relationships, you need to just be straight up about what you want, and pursue it. Don't get caught up in the game playing, as it will most likely backfire in your face. Every woman is at a different point in her life, and dealing with different issues, so there never will be a "system" for getting into a relationship with most women. It all depends on the woman, so you're better off just being straight up and pursuing it.</strong>
<strong>Let me give you the example of <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Texas/city-of-Corpus-Christi.html?gender=female">how I got my current girl</a>. When I decided that she was the woman that I wanted to be with, she was already in a relationship with someone else and really wasn't trying to entertain the idea of a relationship with me. However, I was straight up about what I wanted, and kept pursuing it.</strong>
<strong>Eventually, she broke up with the person she was with. I kept pursuing her, and she finally kissed me, but wouldn't have sex with me, nor was she entertaining the idea of a relationship with me. She just kept telling me that she wanted to be alone and needed time to herself. In short, she kept saying that she didn't want to be with anyone at that point in time.</strong>
<strong>We kept hanging out more and more. We started out by seeing each other for 20-30 minutes here and there, and as time passed, we started spending more time together. We kept talking and opening up to one another. Eventually, we were kissing all of the time, but she still wouldn't have sex with me or entertain a relationship with me. She would tell me that she wanted sex, but that she just wasn't ready yet.</strong>
<strong>Me being me, and wanting what I want, I kept pursuing her. And eventually, we had sex. However, the sex was infrequent. She was still giving me all kinds of excuses as to why she didn't wanna have sex. And again, I kept pursuing her. I think that at some point, she grew really close to me, and it was then that she started having sex with me all of the time, and wanting a relationship with me.</strong>
<strong>Not only does she know about my player history, and this blog, but she is willing to do almost anything to keep me. She knows that I go out and talk to other girls. She is willing to have threesomes with me if I find a bi-sexual girl that I believe to be hot enough. She pays for all of my food, she buys me clothes, she buys me alcohol, she gives me money, she pays my phone bill, she puts gas in my car, etc. All without me EVER having to ask for it.</strong> <strong>The woman is crazy in love with me and does whatever it takes to make sure that I'm happy.</strong>
<strong>So what can you take away from this story? You should be taking away that you should be straight up about what you want, pursue it, and just have a little patience. The issue isn't her attraction towards you. She may feel like she needs to see that you really are committed to her first, she may have issues with being hurt before, or she may feel like she's not close enough with you yet. Whatever the case, playing mind games with her is only going to push her away from you.</strong></blockquote>