Do you love a good, spicy, proper dry chili?

Have you tried others, and thought to yourself, that there has to be a marginally more awesome chili recipe out there, but you just don't know where to look? Do you collect other people's chili recipes in the hopes of one day, finding chili nirvana? Are you looking for something to spend all those simbis on?

Well, if you answered yes to any of those questions... have I got the service for you.

You see, I have this chili recipe. It was handed down to me by monks who live in a super secret location high in the ozark mountains. Apparently, all they do is make this stuff, and I was very fortunate to find them. I went through great trouble to wrestle the ingredients and techniques for this holy sacrament from their hands. I spent weeks meditating, chanting, and going to mass. Finally, I was entrusted with this incredible gift.

Tradition has it, that this chili recipe is over 6,000 years old, and that it was originally developed by south american mystics. Some say, it's even older than that, and was developed, first hand, by the gods themselves. How old it actually is, nobody knows. But, it has been secretly passed down for hundreds of generations, and it was protected fiercely by those who knew its secrets.

Over the millennia, many have tried and failed to refine the recipe, and bring out this chili's true power.

That is, until now.

For the low low price of 50 simbi, I will share this cherished ancient Ozark chili with you or a loved one. And, I will also include all of the secret kabbalistic incantations and phrases necessary to make the magic of this chili, and it's impressive spiritual powers work.

But be warned, mortals. While this chili may indeed be delicious, it also holds wisdom, and mystical powers of the ages. Do not be surprised if this delightful dish drives you mad! Please note that I cannot take responsibility for the misuse of this recipe, or the tremendous damage it may cause... in the wrong hands.