BFB: 21-Day Celebration (Memorial)
21 DAY CELEBRATION CHALLENGE
Our mourning has changed. No hugs, no stories, at least not face-to-face. It's a very difficult time for people to lose someone, and there have been so many losses. There has been so much sadness.
When our loved one is taken, especially at first, we have no choice but to think about it. No words can undo it. We swim in it, breathe in it, often feel like we’re drowning in it.
I’ve lost people and the only thing that pulled me back was knowing I was loved and that I wasn’t alone.
If you have lived even a short time on this planet, and if you’ve allowed yourself to love, you know exactly what I mean.
I create 21-day challenges for friends and families in mourning. This would include a daily blurb with graphics. (See photos examples, "Celebrating LeoLady")
When our friend left us on April 18th, I wanted to find a way to channel my sadness and help her friends who were very close to her and grieving. I used her first 21 posts on KindSpring.org, giving a lovely glimpse into a beautiful life. I hosted two challenges; one a week after she transitioned and then one in July on her birthday from this year forward.
If you would like to do a remembrance like this for someone you loved and lost and need help getting started, please let me know. If you want to host it yourself and just need help with the mechanics of the 21-day hosting, or if you want me to host, I can do either one. What I would need from you would be enough materials and photos to create at least 21 days of blurbs for the emails. This would be saved on KindSpring and could be revisited any time you want.
Alternatively, I found another way to honor someone I loved who died. She was killed by a drunk driver the summer after graduating 2nd in her class from MIT. So we honor her memory on her birthday with a Running-for-Joy-5k/1mile walk. So beginning last year, our 7th, we offered to carry the names of loved ones. Note: This walk/run can be done anywhere and all participants are welcome. There is a Facebook group for this walk hosted by Joy's former fiance, John. If you need the link, send me a message.
More than anything else, I wanted people who are grieving to know what I needed to hear, and hear often:
☼ You are loved.
☼ This will not kill you, though you may feel as though you are dying.
☼ When you feel you can’t go on, please reach out. Help is all around.
☼ Even though you may not believe it right now, you won’t be sad forever, not all the time. You will, however, never be completely free of this grief, so long as you are brave enough to remember.
May you find peace when you remember the love you shared.
♥. Niki Flow
Training & Qualifications
I have a lot of experience with grief rituals. I learned how much they helped my children when we lost our little one, Sara, in 1995 and then our Samuel a year later. More on that here: One Woman's Story.
Rituals are important. They are doors to a new life, paths to healing, a place of connection, a way to let go, or to never let go but to grow strong enough to hold on. It is all a very personal journey. In my country alone, we have lost over 100,000 people to COVID. That's more than 200,000 families that need to mourn. Yet death and grief and mourning are rarely spoken about.
In the Japanese culture, the nōkanshi prepares the loved one ritualistically for burial. It is an act of deep love and compassion. The nōkanshi is a stranger to the family, but they prepare and hold this sacred space for the families to mourn. That is what I am offering in a sense; not a physical space, but a sacred one of gathering nonetheless.
This is under the 356grateful Pay-It-Forward Buttons-for-Benjamin post here:
Availability & Preferences
Flexible. Send me a PM