EverQuest II writing critique
I am looking for someone familiar with the EverQuest Lore (by familiar, I mean knowing the whos, whens, and whats). I am less than two weeks into the game (level 25 Asarai Ranger/31 Sage). My story goes:
I was playing with my Sig. Other when a guide event popped up at Lavastorm (I have a fire-inspired visage) and we did the request and it was all exciting and what-have-you. Well the guide took notice of my character's look and complimented that I looked like I belonged there. So I start freaking out asking my Sig. Other, "is this an appropriate response? What do I say back???" trying to stay in character. Well he doesn't apparently know all that much, but that was okay. The guide ended up throwing me a "welcome to the game" party on some beach the starts with a "B" and the second word is "Mountain" and we had a grand time. Through this ordeal, I discovered under the character tab that I could write my own biography!!! So I got all excited and spent the rest of the night researching and trying to piece it all together. The next morning I wrote 5 pages and 3 generations worth of my "lineage" so my great grand mother, grandma, mom, and left off with a little blurb of, "and this is my story..." I went to go copy and paste it in my biography. What do you know? It has a very short character limit to it! So I moped a little but found out about player-written books in game (which is why I am a ranger/sage even though that combo doesn't make sense).
Now I am looking for someone to critique my fictional story (that I did take a little creative license with and made up some semantics) and tell me if it could theoretically fit into the game. Like, it doesn't completely reject and conflict with canon. If there are inconsistencies, I would like to know what is wrong and what the correct "history" is so I can rewrite it.
TL;DR: I need someone who knows a lot about EverQuest to review my in-game biography and see that it doesn't conflict with canon.
Please and Thank You,
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About Kayla Onstott
Hi there, I'm Kayla! Although I don't have any formal degrees, I studied entrepreneurship for a year in college (was awarded a full tuition competitive scholarship for it). I have training in professi...onal speaking and presentations. I have a naturally analytical mind which allows me to excel in anything I put my mind to. If I don't love it, I don't do it. I have two cats and a dog. Many people tell me I should go into dog training. I am most passionate about helping people solve problems, often thinking outside the box. If you just want someone to listen, or a non biased opinion I can be your gal. I am diagnosed Bipolar (II) with generalized anxiety and PTSD. If you are just having a rough time and need someone in your corner, I can do that too. I've been through several rigorous educational therapies and would love to share that knowledge with you. Not in the sense of professional advice, but rather a friend who understands and has been there too. Some of my hobbies include reading, cooking, Xbox games (Tetris, Halo, Destiny mostly). I am a quick reader and would love to provide you feedback. If you want a new recipe to try, I specialize in hearty "broke-people" meals that are cheap but delicious and have lots of adaptions that can easily fit your lifestyle and budget. As for the gaming, I mostly play Destiny (322 light level hunter fully maxed subclasses). Tetris is near and dear to my heart as is Halo (although my Halo is a little rusty since I don't play often anymore, usually I mess around in forge.) I also now play EverQuest II. As of right now I'm a level 32+ ranger, 46+ scribe. Star Wars is my biggest love in life. I read the EU books up until a few after Disney bought the rights. Please ask me to talk SW with you, please. For many years I dove into Christian theology. Although now I have unique core beliefs that do not align with any one religion, I am confirmed as a United Methodist, went to Catholic schools for 6 years, participated in a program called ministry as a career track (MAC Track) and was on the leadership board. Through these experiences I developed my own spirituality and theories about faith, but am still very knowledgeable in doctrine. I will never bring religion into any conversation unless specifically asked, same for politics, as I hold a high regard for secular beliefs. I have a broad range of talents, interests, and acquired skills. When in doubt, you can always ask, "what do you know/think about [fill in the blank]." If I don't have much to say myself about something, I will do my own research and develope my own ideas or help point you in the right direction.show moreOpen to other proposals
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